Taking a Few Eggs Out of The Basket

You are just not worth the effort.

When we agreed to be friends, I put a lot in. I did my part, as promised. Maybe the difference between me and you is, I genuinely wanted to enter this friendship, without any selfish reason or intention. I like to surround myself with good people, and because of our history, I knew that you were good people.

Well, I can't anymore. I'm done with you. I do require a certain level of reciprocation, and you're not anywhere near that level.

Granted, I don't have to dead the whole situation. If I asked for advice, I'd get suggesions of Demotion; maybe I'd be told to mirror a few of your unfavorable actions, to teach you "that lesson."

But naw, the way you treat me is the way I treat a Person I Don't Like. I'm not wasting my time with PIDL behavior, I might as well just cut you out if it's at that level already. I don't have the capacity to have that kind of negativity on my conscious.

Is that really how you treat your friends? Maybe that's normal, and maybe I treat mine with too high of a regard -- but hell, that's what I require. I need support, I need consideration. A thank you when I send you something that reminds me of you. I didn't have to do that, but I did. At least an effort to lisen when I'm breaking down in front of you. Some enthusiasm when it's my turn to talk. Maybe you could stop cancelling plans for aint-shit people. I'm tired of the way you put your "best friends" on the back burner. Stop fucking burning your bridges.

This goes out to more than one. I tolerated this from you guys because I knew you were a good person. But, I realized that you're not a good person to ME. So enough of this, really. I'm being treated like a demotion, when I'm sincerely going out of my way to be a true friend. I have better people to pour my love onto. You don't deserve it, and you should know better.

Now, this doesn't make you any less of an intelligent, witty, attractive individual. It doesn't make you any less kind hearted, or well intended, or worthy of the world. It won't make you a bad boyfriend. It just makes you a horrible, horrible friend.

If you read this and see yourself, take it as you want it. I'm past warnings, this is not one of them. I'm not posting this for response or reaction. I've been relatively straightforward with how I felt about your actions -- and with how they made me feel -- on more than one occasion. I even approached you acknowledging that it could have been my own misunderstanding, and I asked for clarification. Did I really have to bother twice? You should know who I am by now, there aren't any more guessing games. This was a second chance for you, and a generous one, considering.

If this termination was what you wanted, you picked a coward's way out. That's like coming in to work every day and fucking up on a regular so that your company could fire you, rather than gathering the balls to quit. If it's NOT what you wanted -- then homie, you need to figure yourself out. It's hard for me to believe that your actions weren't played on purpose, because you -- especially you -- know exactly what you're doing when you're doing it. From you, that was a message. But here is my benefit of the doubt, okay? I don't know what high horse you're riding on, and I hope somebody knocks you off that shit soon.

I started out hurt and a little stunned at the way you were treating me. I couldn't understand why. You were condescending, and you were rude... SO rude. Baby, I don't deserve that. I didn't do anything to you. How can you promise friendship, without holding up your part?

I tolerated it from you the way I would have tolerated it coming from a good friend. But.. you're not. You never were.

You tell me you need a friend. You tell me I'm the only one you got. Well, it's a shame you didn't act like it. Maybe you should put more effort into those who are actually close to you, that actually care about your well being, that actually took the time out to let you in. Don't you realize how similar we are? Don't you realize how much of a struggle it was to allow you back into my life?

It's the little things you do that show me you DON'T care. It's time I stopped ignoring those little things.

*Takes eggs out of basket*
I'm not making this same mistake again.

I'd be happier without you both. Funny how a little bit of self-confidence can help you make the right decisions, huh? LOL.. really puts things into perspective, answers why I was holding on to you. Hope is an extension of insecurity. I forgot that it's different from faith.

For the record, I never lost an ounce of faith in you. You still have the potential to be an amazing person.

Love,
The Dynasty