Grumpy. Ranting.

They couldn't finish the root canal because my gum is too infected. They poked around, medicated me, then told me to come back next week. I'm in a lot of pain. Fuck everbody. Thank God they were generous with the anasthesia. Spelling. I tried to hold in my mewing as much as possible, but whenever I let one go, they'd stab a new needle in. The love in my heart for them is overwhelming.

I got some medicine put in last week, so I'm not allowed to eat on the left side of my mouth. I been eating on the right side, which hurt like hell because of this one fucktard tooth. Now, I can't eat on the right side, either. Basically, I just can't eat.

Soft foods for a week.

What the fuck does that even mean? What can I eat besides yogurt and mashed potatoes? Where do the animals fit into this mix? I'm scared!

The strain of flu that I just got over is incredible. I passed it on to like, 8 people in 2 days. I am amazing.

However, because I've been hanging out with those same people, I'm wondering if its possible to catch it back.

I realized, while the dentist was tsk'ing over my open mouth and asking me if I was hungry (I wasn't), that my automatic reaction to pain is tensing up and salivating a lot. I don't know why the salivation happens, but I suddenly recalled all the times I had to get shots, or picked at a particularly tender pimple, or got a tattoo, a piercing, etc. At the end of those ordeals, I always had a mouthful of clear, frothless drool to spit out. Good, this prepares me for those surprise bukkake attacks. In times of fear, I will always be well lubricated.

When dentist and.. head... dentist (..? er, her boss) were poking around at the tender spots that didn't respond to anasthesia (this happened to me a lot in my past, perhaps my body just rejects shit), the female one pet my shoulder and said, "honey, you need to relax." I laughed weakly and said, "I can't." She made a sad noise and while she was explaining to me that the numbness won't take unless I stop clenching, I looked up at the speckled ceiling and reminded myself that I have to return to those yoga classes. Or some fucking method of meditation. I'd repeated the same thing to my ex one time in bed, that I simply couldn't relax. Last night -- and many, many nights before that -- I couldn't fall asleep because I couldn't "sink in" to any comfortable position. I had to force myself to take the tension out from my shoulders, and then it just felt awkward. How unfortunate I am.

*Pops gum*.. my life is so hard!

I'm done ranting. I'm going to take this weakass painkiller and curl into a corner of my bed and cry. I've regained feeling in my lip.

I'm done going out for a while.

Lies. I made so many plans in advance that I'd feel horrible backing out of them.

OH MY GOD WHEN WILL THE WORLD STOP THROBBING