Quickie: This Just In, and Football (Female Angle)

I've got 10 minutes before my first meeting of the day, so let me get a little bit of my Monday Bitters (nevermind that it's a Tuesday, I had yesterday off) out of the way.

1) Britney Spears told a homeless man that asked her for money, "You're better off being homeless than being me."

I guess that statement was supposed to strike pity into the hearts of all us hungry civilians, latched on to her spiraling antics like parasites huh? Oh, this poor rich white girl is out of control, what with so much attention and all, like omigash her life is so hard!

*Blink*

I'm sorry, bitch, did you just say that he was "better off being homeless?"

*Squints*

Better off, bitch?
Your life is worse, than that of a homeless man, bitch?
Really? Really?

At least you got drugs, bitch.
Imagine being addicted to drugs, and not being able to AFFORD ANY bitch.
Better off my ass, bitch.
Give me that money.
She really said that.
Damn.
I would have pissed on her fucking tongue for saying that shit to me.
Damn.

2) So I watched the Giants/Packers game on Sunday. I'm not a big football head, mainly because I don't understand everything about it. I'm learning, but my interest can only stretch so far. Blue line, yellow line, fumble, complete. Downs... scrimmage...
thighs...
huddles...
big... bulging muscles...
male agression...
thighs...

What?

I was told that football was something you cannot truly get into until you've played it before, and I can understand that. I don't mind keeping my eyes glued to that screen though, because all those asses in shiny spandex pants keep me entertained for DAYS. DAYYSS. Yum.

With that said, my last boyfriend allowed me the opportunity to sharpen the Art of Watching The Game with a man/your man (and he was the first to take the time to explain to me what the basics meant), so I rushed to make it to the spot before 6:30 and settle in for some discreet appreciative eye-raping. I was actually interested in the outcome this time -- probably because of the fact that it was indeed a very important game for New York, and thankfully my company was enthusiastic with reactions, which added to the fun-ness of it all.

AND GUESS WHAT! I have opinions!

Dude, I formed opinions on a football game!

This is an interesting development. We were rooting for the Giants, of course, but as a newbie female semi-impartial viewer, I have an honest confession. I... uh.. kind of respected the Packers' game a lot. *Flinches and ducks against flying stones*

First off, let my vagina speak. The Packers are a sexy ass team. They ARE. Compared to the Giants, those boys had that testosterone shit on lock. I can't control what my clitorous responds to, and it was plastered to the path of a couple of Packers players, following them like a flower to the sun. The beef between ..burress? and Harris turned me on, and though I don't know what Harris's face looks like, those dreads and that ass and that mean streak combined had me panting after his run like a thirsty golddigger. (I'll dig inside those gold pants anyday, daddy. Jesus.)

Yes, the Giants have been doing great all season. Yes, it was a crazy game. They started out kickass and there were some cute moments along the way, and that last interception was awesome and stuff; how can I be so blasphemous when they've come so far? But really... would they have made it to the Superbowl if it wasn't for that third chance? Are you SURE it wasn't because of luck? *Wards off bullets* I'm not talking about the whole season, obviously, because I haven't been following it. I'm talking about this one particular game.

I mean, maybe I'm biased because I was more visually attracted to the Packers during the entire thing (kind of like the male reasoning behind Rhianna's "talent"), but I feel that GB played a more impressive game. And my rape victim Harris over there, after bullrhino-ing back and forth with Plaxico (ha, ha, he sounds like a prescription drug), fucked up his leg or something and STILL limped his sexy ass around the field. Is that not worthy of respect? Or at least a blow job? *Gets backhanded by a Giants fan* OW! I'm SORRY!

I mean, this should be an interesting turnout. Wife, although she is from NYC, admits that she is a Patriots fan. Undefeated is undefeated, after all. I promised Providence that I'd root for the Giants, and out of respect to him, the aforementioned ex that taught me what there is to know about football, and the city that nurtured me and raised me to be the wonderful asshole that I am today, I will root for them during the Superbowl. Wife's not going to speak to me for a few days, but I've done worse. It's all love.

Wow, I watched football.

Whether or not you agree with anything I had to say, I'm just surprised I have an opinion at all. *Grin*

My female readers (which is probably, er, all of them), I apologize for that odd ass moment. You blocked out half this post, and I can dig that. I'll have something on validation and confidence that you can relate to next time, I promise.

Also, I just don't feel comfortable blogging about my dating life anymore. I tried, but it's not time yet. Sorry :)

Besides, it's more or less come to a halt. The frustrations and elations just.. aren't small enough to admit to such a general, impersonal audience. I'll do what I do best in times of intense confusion -- write it out -- but there is no confusion yet, not here. It's down to one and I'm focusing on that for the time being. If that doesn't work out, I'll just get back on the horse; until then it's none of your biznassss.

Love,
TheDynasty